hello new year. my, that whole thing they tell you about time accelerating as you age. it’s so true. i’m actively trying to appreciate each day. to stay present but whoosh, it just keeps rushing past.
i’m trying out that 1 second a day app, as a way to remember the actual days and the tiny things that happen. i guess i’m using it how i used to use film photography.
oh the things i ache to do but struggle to prioritize.
i miss shooting 35mm film daily but i don’t see the world as i used to. can i go back? did becoming a professional photographer ruin my joy in the hobby of it? the cost can be prohibitive but it’s so much better than digital. the feel of it is so special.
i don’t know what to do with the images that i have made on film these last few years. i used to blog them or share them on social media but now i overthink it too much and since it takes me years or month to develop it, it just don’t seem timely.
last month, i took advantage of a holiday sale and i made these postcards with some of my favorite images i haven’t previously shared online. i am trying to create art again without having an agenda. or rather, without shutting myself down. my mind is a battlefield sometimes.
this is a good place to share that journey. i don’t want to make any promises because i’m a big dreamer and sometimes i get overly ambition and struggle to follow through.
maybe writing this old blog is a hobby i return to this year. only time will tell. but the thought of it makes me smile.
The funny thing about blogging is the questioning of the practice. I question that I have anything to share… to which I realize we all have something to share. To live is to share, right? We are taught it early… share, share, share. But as you age, you become self-conscious of what you share. You question everything, right down to the space and resources you use up to exist, and thereby your necessity or joy to share.
Continue reading “on sharing”
On Tuesday night when I saw the majority of the US map turn red, I said, “this is making me dislike the color red.” “It’s like the country is hemorrhaging.”
Continue reading “the color red”
fired-up to get involved
and many more emotions that don’t have words
Continue reading “how i feel right now”
do you ever break down words to get to the heart of it, then turned it into word association? me neither, until now.
dis ease / not easy / anti ease
mis take / don’t take / not take
over all / lord / above
in to / movement
all ways / every where / love
full fill / fill while full
*I wrote this two and a half years ago, it seems appropriate to share now. I’m still processing this week. So here we are.
Today was roller coaster. I need to process it. I didn’t see this coming.
Continue reading “I can’t even “
We’re having an unseasonably warm November. I’m ready for things to get brisk. I’m ready to see my own breath.
I can’t think of a better way to spend Sunday than going wine tasting with my dad and stepmom in wine country. We tried almost a dozen wines and had lots of laughs and delicious food along the way. It was a beautiful day.
Autumn is my muse. I’m enthralled with it every single day. I can’t help but capture it. It’s a film of transition, a lesson in life. Constantly inconsistent. Just when you get comfortable, everything changes. Nature says, don’t stand still… keep going… aging… evolving, like the tide of a river.
things I’m practicing this month
more boot camp (2-3 days a week, adding this to my 1-2 days of weightlifting)
30 days of yoga
meditation, twice a week
tracking my food and water intake
self-gratitude for my body and abilities
nablopomo with personal daily photos
7:00 woke and packed clothes for the day / 7:30 exercised at fit body boot camp / 9:00 went to work at nunm / 17:00 therapy appt / 18:15 visited dispensary and gas station / 19:00 home / 19:30 yoga / 20:00 ate dinner / 20:45 partially voted (turns out it’s going to be a two-night deal) / 22:15 made breakfast and packed my clothes for tomorrow / 22:45 showered / 23:00 in bed, writing this blogpost
23:45 good night, gracie
whew, what a productive day!