in the midst

DSC_4272_.jpg

it’s hard to talk about this moment without calling it by it’s name.

we are in the midst of a pandemic.

and the best way we can combat it is to stay home. we must cut ourselves off the from each other to survive. as a result, the pace of our society has slowed. it still churns, after all capitalism does not stop, not even for death.

my days have changed dramatically in the last month. i now work from home, my commute for the last 6.5 year has been about 6 miles each way. now it is less than 60 feet. at night the freeway outside my windows gets almost silent, as if we are on an indefinite snow day.

DSC_4760_.jpg

it’s strange… to be a part of  something collectively but also to be so separate. I am literally alone all the time. my only companion is grace.

and thank goodness for grace. i am still shocked that she has been with me so long… we are past our 14th anniversary together. i was the tender age of 26 when i took her home, i am now 41. i did not process the longevity of this commitment at the time. but the longer we have been together, especially now that we have a place of our own… oh how I treasure our time together. i am forever grateful to share my life with her. she may very well be the love of my life. i have deep gratitude that we get to share these days. no other being would i rather be in quarantine with.

_grace-apr2020

one routine i’ve found joy in is a daily outdoor walk, run or street dance. I usually take a camera with me and capture some of the plant life in my neighborhood. spring is just beginning here and the plants are busting out their sunday best. I try to capture their beauty. sometimes i bring a prism to add a rainbow to the mix.

DSC_4691.JPG

not since i was a teenager did i spend so much time in one place. i’m really enjoying it. i get to learn the flora and fauna around me and watch it change and grow everyday. it feels both like an honor and a gift to watch all this life unfurl before my eyes.

IMG_1155_.jpg

i do not want to dwell on the future right now. it is a tapestry unbeknownst to us. one we will make as we go. sadly, we will not all make it.

i hope i can continue to find these small, beautiful moments, no matter what is ahead. life is short and long. it is complex and simple. i hope to continue to hold it in my hand, in my camera and be both astonished and beholden to it.

DSC_4081.JPG

Hello twenty nineteen

Welcome new friend, you brand new year you. You feel like a promising new slate, like a fresh layer of snow… 

Continue reading “Hello twenty nineteen”

the kindling within

i feel the muse stirring. i want to create. i’m brimming with ideas of new personal work. it’s exciting. i haven’t felt compelled to really create anything for myself in a long, long while, aside from a photo here and there.

IMG_4323

Continue reading “the kindling within”

on sharing

The funny thing about blogging is the questioning of the practice. I question that I have anything to share… to which I realize we all have something to share. To live is to share, right? We are taught it early… share, share, share. But as you age, you become self-conscious of what you share. You question everything, right down to the space and resources you use up to exist, and thereby your necessity or joy to share.

77929AAmor816007-R1-031-14

Continue reading “on sharing”

the eleventh month

I tried to do nablopomo last year and I only made it half way through.

I am not a daily anything person, no matter how much I want to be… no matter how much I love the idea of it. At some point, I forget or just get to the end of the day and I just can’t. Some projects are as short as 7 days and I will do the work (as in take the photos) but when it comes to posting… I just don’t/can’t/won’t.

Here it is Nov. 3 and I forgot it was even nablopomo until I visited my talented friend Andrea’s blog and saw her posting again. (She’s amazing, seriously… click that link.)

Continue reading “the eleventh month”

natural close-up

i’m a big lover of nature.
there is so much beauty in this world.
plant life never ceases to amazing me.
the variety and vibrance feels infinite. Continue reading “natural close-up”

six years ago

I’ve had this blog for 6 years. I was initially very active but over the years, I lost my steam. This month is the first time I have posted in over a year. The last three years, it’s been rather quiet here. Continue reading “six years ago”

the color red

On Tuesday night when I saw the majority of the US map turn red, I said, “this is making me dislike the color red.” “It’s like the country is hemorrhaging.”

Continue reading “the color red”

setting intentions

things I’m practicing this month

more boot camp  (2-3 days a week, adding this to my 1-2 days of weightlifting)

30 days of yoga

meditation, twice a week

tracking my food and water intake

self-gratitude for my body and abilities

nablopomo with personal daily photos

NYC, initial musings

WORD SALAD

Large. Diverse. Work in progress. So many details. So much everything. Vibrant. More than I can contain with words. Wow. Speechless. Love.

image

OBSERVATIONS

People hang out in the streets. Like pull a chair out and sit on the sidewalk for hours or just stand in a corner or sit on a stoop. Every place outside is a public place.

People are beautiful. They also wear a fair amount of sweat pants. Everybody has an iPhone, in their hand.

Manhatten is twice as expensive to eat and drink in than Brooklyn. Brooklyn feels like Portland but with more brownstones and people of color. I love the diversity here, it’s so refreshing.

Most of the coffee here is from Portland or Seattle. (Starbucks is disgustingly everywhere, ew!)

It feels like there are fewer homeless people here than Portland.

image

RANDOM

I’ve walked more this week than I have in a long time. It’s awesome and harder than I thought it would be. My tiny little legs…getting me 7-10 miles in a day.

I’m learning the subway system. So fun and fascinating!

I still feel like I’m on west coast time and I’ve been here for a week!

I have such a feeling of possibility before me.

image

. all photos taken with iPhone 6+ . first afternoon here . september 25, 2015 . edited using vscocam . #nessayayvacay .